Forgiven
by Dragenruler
Summary: /SasuSaku/'I never wanted to move back! I hate it here! Can't you that see you'll never be my mother' I yelled at Tsunade. The past happened and there is nothing you can do about it, the only thing there is, is to forgive but that too hard for her.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto

_**R&R**_

_Enjoy…_

**A/N: **Please excuse any mistakes, English _**isn't **_my first language.

* * *

**I**

**Prologue**

_Written by Dragenruler_

* * *

_-_

_-_

_Zillah closed her eyes tightly, waiting for the sun to come up. Knowing that as soon as that beautiful son was shining, they would all expect the perfect girl..._

_The girl that won everything, the one that must always be happy, the girl that was always happy... That's what they all did see... A perfect little girl..._

_She sighed, a tear rolled down her soft cheek. But just a quickly she wiped it away. There was no need for the tears, she thought._

_Aren't I lucky...? She thought as another tear rolled down her cheek, not bothering to wipe it away. A soft whimper escaped her, as she turned around in her bed, facing the cream colored wall._

_For the first time she didn't bother to stop her tears, she didn't want it to stop. 'Why am I crying...?' She mumbled. 'I am happy, aren't I?' She knew the answer already..._

_Every laugh, giggle or smiles were always a fake. A mask for everyone to see, not knowing what's behind that small broke smile that faced the world._

_Soon she stopped crying, the dark clouded glooming on her face. It's snowing, she thought. She pulled on her little brown dress, making her look perfect. _

_Brushing her long red hair, making her seem like a beautiful perfect girl. She stared at herself in the mirror, a fake person staring straight at her, a stranger..._

_A tear rolled down her pink tainted cheek, wiping it away before she put on her mask, making sure that no one could see what lay behind that perfect mask..._

* * *

This is how I start every morning, I would write a little poem, I don't think you call it a poem, but I write such stuff. _Emotional stuff…_

My name is Haruno Sakura, I am only seventeen. I know, a little old to be an emo cutting herself. But I don't care.

I have cotton-_pink _hair, that I keep short _(I don't like long hair). Emerald-green _eyes too much with my pink hair, some always said I colored my hair that is a lie.

I wear black clothes, I hate anything related happy and like I said before, I cut myself.

My life wasn't a happy-chappie life; I have hated life since I was fifteen. Everything turned wrong, but thankfully, I lived with my Aunt, and we moved to America…

* * *

I was sitting in class, slowly waiting or the bell to ring. I wanted to go to lunch, so that I could see my lovable boy-friend.

Right now I was in math, my teacher was Miss. Mitarashi and lucky for me she was the toughest teacher we had in Konoha private.

Miss. Anko is also my volleyball coach; since she became my coach, I've hated the sport. I mean, I have never trained so hard in my whole life!

I was secretly counting the minutes, pretending as if I was paying attention in class.

I glanced at my friends, Ino and Tenten was in my class. So lucky I didn't suffer alone… but I still say that Hinata _(My best-friend)_ was lucky, she didn't get class by _this _teacher.

I saw Ino frowned and scribble down on a small piece of paper; she looked up at Tenten and smirked, handing me the note under the table.

We didn't want Miss. Mitarashi finding the note, she's grab it out of our hands and read it out loud.

I smiled, taking the note eagerly and opened under my table.

_Hey Sakura, remember the gang has something to tell you…!_

I sighed, the bell just rang. _Finally! _Now I can sit with my friends and _boy-friend _and talked about random stuff as Naruto makes and idiot out of himself.

Well Naruto was Hinata's secret crush, and also _very _dens. I mean, really how can you not see someone likes you when _she _blushed in front of you and sometimes _faint!_

I quickly made my way towards my locker, putting my math books into my locker. I frowned as I saw Sai leaning again the locker next to me, a big smile on his face.

But when I opened my locker, a bush of red roses fell out of it. I didn't know who it was from but this was _very _sweet, too bad that I already had a _boy-friend…_

I pulled out one rose and smelled it and smiled, I glanced back at Sai but he wasn't there anymore. _Maybe _he went to his own locker.

I pushed the flower back into my locker with my math books and shut it, making my way towards the cafeteria.

The scent of burned food consumed me, making me want to choke. The cafeteria always smelled like this, _it _was sick.

I never eat here, last time I did, I was sick for weeks! I smiled as I went towards our usual table. Ino, Neji, Hinata, Shikamaru, Sasuke and Tenten were already sitting there.

Neji was Hinata's cousin, Shikamaru had a crush on Ino, but Ino didn't believe that he liked her and Neji, well; we think he has a crush on Tenten, but we aren't sure about that.

And Sasuke, we are currently dating. Yes, me plain Haruno Sakura dating the most handsome in Konoha!

I, dating a guy that looked like angel carved him! It was hard to believe!

I quickly made my way towards the table and sat next to Sasuke, giving him a hug. He pulled me off of him and snorted. _What is going on?_

I quickly looked at everyone and wished I didn't, they were all glaring at me, even _my _Sasuke! "Sakura, we need to talk." Tenten said harshly.

I just stared at them all, but nodded. _What did I do? _As far as I can remember I didn't do anything wrong!

Glanced at everyone before I followed Ino, Tenten and Hinata, they scowled at me. Why wasn't Naruto there? I mean, he was never late for _lunch._

I and the girls made it outside; I glanced at the trees and smiled. Mother Nature sure was a miracle.

"Guess we have to get this over, slut…" I stared at Ino. _Why _would she call me a slut? I mean we have been _friends _since kindergarten!

"Well bitch, to put this in a nice way. We hate you; we hated you since we became friends. You discussed us in a way worse than Ami!" Tenten growled, sending me a glare.

_What? _But I didn't have time so say anything before Hinata growled at me. "We don't want you in our group, not even Naruto wants to be friends with you!" Hinata growled? _(Sweet little innocent Hinata)_

"You are a _two faced _friend, I am surprised why people would even _like you!" _Ino yelled, turning around that she didn't face me.

_What? But, but, I didn't do anything! _I wanted to scream it at them, hammer it into their heads but I couldn't mutter a word, my world had frozen.

"Get out of our lives, we don't want you." Tenten growled and kicked me in the shins, making me fall to the ground. I grunted in pain as the tears threatened to fall.

I truly didn't know what to say or do, because _I didn't _do anything to make them act like _this. _To make them _treat _me like a bitch…

"Come one girls, let's leave this whore. She isn't worth looking at." I heard Ino said, grabbing on Hinata and Tenten's arms and dragged them back into the cafeteria.

I didn't bother to stand up as I let the tears roll down my face, I _didn't _even want to think anymore… _because _my thoughts would only linger on the words my best-friends _(Ex best-friends)_ said.

* * *

That was only the beginning of the worse day of my whole life. I never figured out what I did to them to make them hate me all.

They wouldn't even talk to me the next day or the day after that and the day after that, you get it. They never did talk to me again.

Later that same day, _the end of the day, _the _love_ of my life, the guy that I would give everything to in a breath… The guy I would give my soul to.

And that was something he knew, he knew he had me rapped around his pinky and that gave him power over me… and he used that power in a way that I will never forget.

* * *

I frowned as I walked towards my locker, _this _day could get any worse. But a person shouldn't talk too fast, _mother fate _loved to play with lives.

I smiled sadly as I saw my boy-friend leaning against my locker. _Thank you that school is over for today._

I smiled softly but my smile faded when I stood in-front of him, he was glaring strait at me or maybe there was someone behind me. _Yea, _there must be someone behind me.

_Sigh…_

"Sakura, we need to talk." The words no girl wants to hear…

I didn't say a word, but only nodded, hoping that he was talking about something else, _not _the meaning that most guys mean with that sentence.

"This isn't going to work out, our relationship isn't- well you know." This tone was emotionless, making sure that he sounded like he didn't care.

A tear rolled down my face, _but… _"What…? I thought, I thought we had something special. You can't _just _leave me! You told me you _loved me! _We've been dating for two years_" _I couldn't help but yell.

I groaned, my cheek was burning, this time I didn't bother to try and stop the tears… _Sasuke _hit me… _he actually hit me!_

"_I never __**loved **__you… _You mean nothing to me and you never did. For all that I care, you can die and it wouldn't bother me _one bit_." His growled, his voice harsh making me looked down.

I didn't dare looking into his eyes, his _(Cold, beautiful, bewitching) _eyes that would always stare into my soul and that could make me weak.

He stood straight up, glaring at me. "Don't make me hit you again…" and walked away, leaving me alone in a soulless hall way, where no eyes could stare at me…

I touch my burning cheek softly, the pain was bearable, it was nothing compared against the pain in my _heart. (Is was shattered into a thousand pieces, like broken glass)_

* * *

That was it, no explanation. _Nothing…_

I was still going to that school, even if I started living with my aunt after a week. But two months later we moved to America, she was going to be the new principle for Hallow High.

The reason I lived by my aunt was, well… All I can truly say is that after the episode with Sasuke, thing got worse…

I could've lived with my older brother, but our parents kicked him out of the house. _How I loved him. _He was only fifteen then, but no one could find him, no one knew what had happen to him.

He was five years older than me and was only fifteen when they kicked him out…

So he was twenty now…

That day, right after Sasuke hit me and left I alone with nothing… _my life _got destroyed.

* * *

I didn't bother to get my books out of my locker, after Sasuke left me. So I didn't bring anything back to the house, nothing was worth bringing… _It would only make me remember them._

When I entered the house in tears, my soft sobs were the only thing to be heard. Not my mothers cooking in the kitchen or my father watching the sports…

I knew they weren't going to be at home today, or father wasn't going to work today… They were going to the doctor to check up on my mother, she was pregnant. Five months already into the pregnancy…

I silently walked into the kitchen, grabbing the ice-cream in the fridge, maybe this will make me feel better, but I knew that nothing would _take_ this pain away.

I remember my mom saying that_ ice-cream _could take the pain away, even if it is only for a minute... It would have to do, but, I didn't know if it would help. I've never really had a reason to eat ice-cream to take pain away.

I took a spoon out, making my way towards my small room. We were a poor family, my father didn't get much money from work and mother didn't work at all. She wanted to look after her children.

So I was going to have to share the room with my little sister. It didn't bother me, I always wanted a little sister and I loved kids, I was planning on having them one day.

I was planning on having them with… _Sasuke... _That we would raise a family with beautiful little children, just like him… _That we could be a family together…_

I closed the door as soon as I got into the room and frowned as I looked at the pink crib standing right next to my bed…

Something that Sasuke and I would never have… I could help but whimper as the tears rolled down my face… _this isn't helping…_

I dropped onto my bed, not caring if I got hurt or not. Nothing mattered anymore… I felt _numb. _I grabbed the bucket of ice-cream, taking the lid of and scooped up some ice-cream.

I grabbed the remote _(I had a small TV in my room) _and put it on a random channel, I didn't care what I watched… It _didn't _matter.

I looked up at the TV and saw the early news was on. They showed a video of a car accident, with a car that looked a lot like my parents car…

I wiped my tears away and took another scoop of ice-cream, _how it tasted so sweet… _I turned the volume on…

'_There was a tragic car accident, a cement truck cashed into a car that was carrying a man and pregnant women… Let's take this to Kurenai Yuhi who's at the scene…" _Why did they always talk so _emotionless,_ did they ever feel pain?

The pictures changed to a petite woman with black hair and red eyes. She smiled sadly, the car crash scene behind her. "Thank you, Konan. Tragic stuck Konoha today as a cement truck crashed into a small car that carried a pregnant woman of five months and a man." The woman looked behind her and frowned. "The women and man was identified as Hana Haruno and Jiro Haruno… sadly there were no survivors."

_What!? No, this can't be happening! No! _I shut the TV off and threw the remote against the TV. This wasn't happening, this _couldn't _be happening to me!

I threw the ice-cream against the wall. Food wouldn't help me now; _nothing _could help take the pain away now…

The _pain _was eating me like a black-hole, sucking in everything in. Leaving only pain…

_My parents… they couldn't be dead! _No just couldn't! My _mother_ was _carrying_ my baby sister; my _father _didn't deserve to die! They both didn't!

I _couldn't _breathe… My world didn't just freeze, _my world was broken and nothing could patch it up… _

_I _couldn't feel anything, I was just _numb._

I sat on my bed, letting silent tears run down my face. Not even caring if they fell or stained my cheeks, _it didn't matter._

_Firstly my best friends, then my love and now parents… _

They _were _dead, nothing could _bring them back. _Nothing could be done, I couldn't turn back time, I couldn't bend time and space… _I couldn't do a thing!_

…

_Drip-Drip_

What a melody, tears falling on the ground. The _cold _floor, making a sound which sounds so much like a sad melody to me…

I didn't believe it, I _couldn't believe, _this must've been some sick joke everyone was playing, _that everyone was in. _

I found my voice and yelled. _"Please guys, _you can come out now! I know it's all a joke, so _please _come out." I begged, _hoping _that this was a joke. _(A cruel joke)_

I quickly stood up, wiping my tears away. "Someone _please come out…_ Sasuke, _please _come out…" I mumbled, slowly walking out of the room. I was going to search for them…

I walked into the kitchen, _my mother's kitchen, the one she cooked in every day. _"Mother… come out, tell me this is a _joke. _That you didn't leave me…"

I stared at everything in the kitchen, _so plain, _but still had my mother's style… My gaze got caught on the big steak knives sitting on the counter…

I frowned; _this is only a joke, _no need to hurt myself… I quickly walked out the kitchen, _the memories of my mother… _

"_Someone… _please, just come out. I know this is a joke…" My voice broke as I walked into the living room. "Father… how could you let them do this to me? Your own little girl…!"

_My _father, let this happen. _He played _along with a _sick _joke on his _little girl! _

I looked around the room, my gaze stayed on the television, wishing that it was on, _that _my father was busy watching sports as my mother preparing the food.

I looked down… _wishing… _butit wouldn't help me now. I walked towards the couch and sat on my _father's _seat, _he _always sat here.

"This isn't a prank, is it?" I mumbled, letting my tears fall again…

I knew this wasn't a prank, _but _I still couldn't believe that _everyone _I ever cared about left me… _They actually left me… alone. _

I lay down on the _soft _couch, imaging that it was Sasuke's lap as my father sat next to him stroking my hair as my mother made sat nest to me wiping my tears away and telling me everything was alright…

_But I knew that it wouldn't happen…_

* * *

I guess it isn't as sad if you read it, but the _pain _that I felt that day chancing my day, it chanced my whole life and I couldn't stop it.

People would say that if one door closes another one opens, that stuff happens for the better good. I don't believe that, my aunt is very good to me; she takes great care of me.

But my aunt will never be _able _to heal me; she'd never be able to fix all the broken pieces that I call my heart…

I even sometimes pretend that I was still living with my parents and that I still had my _best friends, _that Sasuke never hit me or left me…

My aunt knew that and she didn't bother to fix it, because she knew the pain I was going through and she knew that I had to heal on my own that's why she didn't send me to therapy.

My aunt's name was Tsunade, she had honey brown eyes that showed all her emotions and dark blond hair was always in two low and loose ponytails.

Like I said before, she was a principle. One of the best, that's why they wanted her to be one in America…

They didn't care that she had a drinking problem, she did love sake…

* * *

I was sitting patently in-front of the principles office of Otogakure High. I looked down, my clothes was black, like every other day.

I was waiting for the principles assistant to come back; he looked like a creep that raped innocent children. Yakushi Kabuto.

I looked at the bangles that covered my scars and the freshly cut skin. I didn't really care what people thought anymore; I didn't care what I thought anymore. That's why I cut my hair, before everything, my long hair was my and my mother's pride.

"Sakura-chan…" Kabuto rolled my name off his tongue, making me shiver. I didn't want to be here, I didn't want a new guardian, and I had lived on my own till now…

"Tsunade-san will see you know." He glanced at me and smirked, leaving me sitting alone. I frowned, _creepy guy. _I stood-up and opened the door making my way into the room.

Her hair looked messy, like she had trouble sleeping and there were bags under her eyes. She looked dead tired. "What did you do little missy."

I couldn't find my voice, I was speechless. _She _was supposed to be _my _new guardian; it looked like she could barely look after herself!

"Let me guess, one of the teachers found you cutting yourself or something?" Her voice was numb, like she didn't really care… _another person._

I frowned and shook my head. "I am Haruno Sakura… you're supposed to be my new…" I could say the word; it brought the pain back, knowing that _they _weren't here.

She frowned, her eyes showing concern and sadness. "Haruno…?" She gasped and stood up from her chair.

"Yes, I got told that I going to stay with you since you married my uncle who pasted away last year…" That's all I could say, I didn't want to say anything really. Since _that _day, I barely talked to anyone.

She only chuckled, talking towards me. "I knew you where coming, I just didn't think you'd be here so soon… I thought you'd come two weeks after…" Her voice trailed off.

I looked down, thinking of _that _day… The pain coming back, it was eating me inside. I really needed to get to a bathroom; I needed to cut _this _pain away. I _needed _to feel alive.

I tried not to cry, but I couldn't stop them from falling. The pain was too much and no one cared… I looked up at her as she pulled me into a hug, caressing the back of my head. "It's alright to cry… it cleanses the soul…" She whispered.

She only hugged me tighter as I let out a soft whimper. "It's alright, you have me and you have your _friends at school…_"

I guess she didn't know how much that sentence hurt me…

* * *

That how I met my only aunt… She has been great to me ever since, and I am graceful for that, but she'd never be my mother or father.

It made me feel guilty that I had such a loving aunt and I was still so _unhappy_ after two year, _I _still didn't get over that day…

People thought my life was optimistic, that nothing could turn it down… how wrong they where… I have always covered my self with a mask.

I didn't let people see my sadness; I would only break in my own room, even if my aunt was there. She knew that I needed time and she gave it to me, even if she knew I needed help…

But I didn't want help; I didn't want to forget anything. I didn't want to forget the life I could've had if nothing had happen on that name.

I didn't want to forget _them… _even if they all left me.

People at school didn't talk to me much, my only friend I had was Gaara, and he also knew pain. His family despised him, because when he was born his mother died and his father gave him that name because it meant, Demon that only cared for itself.

He had flaming red hair with beautiful green eyes _(emotionless green eyes) _he also looked like angels carved him…

He had an older brother and sister, both out of school; they also didn't care for him. That's why he cut carved the Japanese word _love _onto his forehead, making leave a scar that he painted red.

He was my only friends, the only one _who _understood the pain that I am going through, even if it happened to years ago. But the best thing was that Gaara didn't judge me.

I guess I was mostly friends with him because he reminded me _so _much of Sasuke.

I frowned, pushing a piece of my hair behind me ear. Dropping my pen onto the small little book that I had, the one where all the lyrics that I wrote and all my poems where in.

_Knock-Knock_

I turned me head towards the door, mumbling very softly. "Come in." I wasn't really in the mood for a visit in my room.

The door slowly opened as my Aunt walked in, a big smile on her face. "I have some news." Her voice held excitement onto it.

She stayed at the door, as her eyes shined. _Maybe she had good news? _"Guess what! We're moving back to Japan. I quit at Hollow High and accepted the offer to be Konoha private's new principle!"

_What!_

Tears started to blind my sight, I could find my voice. _I was going back to… Konoha private! _Please, no… Not now, I couldn't see them again, not after everything.

"Well Sakura, I'll leave you. You need to start packing also; we are leaving in a few weeks." My aunt left the room, closing the door behind her.

The room was dark again, no light…

Just like how I was feeling… I was going back to the place that held _too _many memories. How could I not break down?

* * *

…**o.O…**

**A/N:** Well then, this was sad. Please tell me what you thought and about the poem thingy! Really, I like need to know… Hehe, well anyways…

So sad, the gang is so _mean. _And Sasuke hit her… _oops._

_Well…_Please **review** then!

_They make me update!_

Dragenruler


	2. Konoha Private

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto

_**R&R**_

_Enjoy…_

**A/N: **Please excuse any mistakes, English _**isn't **_my first language.

* * *

**II**

**Konoha Private**

_Written by Dragenruler_

* * *

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_-_

It has been two weeks since we moved back to Konoha. I wasn't in Konoha private, yet. My aunt wanted me to wait a week before I went back, which is today…

I didn't want to go back, I didn't want to walk into the school today and know that every memory would flow back into my head, _every _sad memory.

Too see _everyone _that hurt ne again and _too try _and not cry when I step into the hall of Konoha private.

I've been crying since I got back, every _memory _of _that _day was back and the pain was worse. Seeing a happy family everyday, seeing how they smiled at each other…

And worst of all, seeing all the newborn babies, knowing that _I _didn't have a sister who was like that, _who _I couldn't see, ever.

I sighed, pulling onto the school uniform. A plain black shirt with a long black shirt, socks that went to the knees, _very plain…_

But I must say, the plain ride towards Konoha wasn't that bad, I had _some _company… and thankfully it wasn't my aunt.

* * *

I sighed, staring at the clouds that pasted by. _This sucked; _the pain made its way towards my heart again, making me feel numb.

I shifted in my seat and accidently bumped my elbow against the guy sitting next to me. I looked up at the guy and met eyes cold blue eyes; his hair was white, extremely white. He smirked down at me, showing off his beautiful face as he lay back against the plains chair.

I looked down on his clothes, _a punk… _and frowned, he was _exactly _like Sasuke, just looked a _little _different.

"I'm Suigetsu and you are?" His voice was as soft like silk… _just _like Sasuke's.

"Haruno Sakura…" I mumbled, looked back at the small window.

"Sakura… it fits you." He said, taking a stand of my hair in his hand. _Wow, talk about fast._

"Uhm, I guess…" I mumbled, not quiet in the mood to talk.

"Alright Sakura, so… where are you off to?" He asked, I turned my head towards him and frowned. He was really close to me. _Too close._

"Konoha…" I moved a little back, I hate it when people get too close to me. I didn't even let my aunt touch me; it would always remind me of how my mother touched me when she comforted me.

He suddenly smiled, showing off his sharp white teeth."Really now, that's where I am heading. I was visiting my parents for a while. They live in America, what about you?"

"Uhm, I am moving back with my aunt." I mumbled, looking back to the window, trying not to break down crying… _Why is this so hard!_

"Oh…" He mumbled. "So you are going back to your parents?" He asked, his voice sounded… _misplaced_, if I could put it like that.

I only shook my head. "My parents are dead…" How I tried not to let my voice break,_ just _bysaying that word…

"Oh, I am sorry…" He mumbled, I could hear that he was sad… _great pity._

"I don't need your pity." I growled, why did people had to pity me! I don't want pity, so my life is _broken; _it was none of their business.

"Sorry… did anyone ever tell you how beautiful you are?" Was he really using _that _pick up line? Really didn't this guy get that I didn't want to talk to him, I didn't want to talk to anyone!

But I had to admit, he was trying to be sweet… _how I hate sweet. _"…No, but thanks." Really couldn't this guy go away?

"So how old are you, I mean, I can see that you are a punk or something…" I looked at him again, he was really starting to annoy me but I did kinda like the attention and I had to admit, he was handsome…

"Seventeen…" I frowned as I saw his eyes widen as he smiled.

"Nice, I am also seventeen! So are you going to Konoha private?" He asked his voice soft and silky. Making me think of Sasuke again…

How can he so _much _like Sasuke?

"Uhm yea… why?"

"Because I go to that school since last year, and I want to know if we are going to be friends?" A friend, it did sound nice…

"Yes… I am going to Konoha private." I mumbled…_maybe _having one friend would be better than having no friends… _besides _he also reminds me of Gaara a little.

I looked out of the window again and smiled as I heard him mumble a yes…

Maybe this wasn't going to be so bad…

* * *

But my thoughts changed as soon as I stepped off of that plain as the pain _(The black hole) _came back, trying to make me numb again…

And it did, just like always… I liked Suigetsu, I must admit that, but I know that I would never _like _him like that. I never even looked at someone _else _since Sasuke and I know I'd never will.

I glared at the mirror; there stood a girl staring back at me. Her hair short, hanging loosely over her shoulders, her green eyes standing out as the black eyeliner surrounded them. A frowned on her small beautiful face…

She looked truly broken, _like _everything she had was taken away from her and she was too far away to get it back.

I sighed, looking away from the mirror. I knew that, that girl was me, _she was me! _But I didn't want to believe it; I didn't want to _see _myself…

_I reminded myself of my mother…_

And to think that I _got _to live with _pain _while they _died _in pain… it didn't seem fair to me, it seemed like I was the one who deserved to die, not them, they were the ones who should've lived, not me!

_Sigh…_

But I can't change back time, no matter how much I want, and if I could change the past. _I _would make sure that _my friends _didn't leave me, _that _Sasuke didn't _leave me _and I would make sure _that my parents _didn't leave me alone when I needed them the most…

_Knock-Knock_

I glanced up at the door and smiled sadly as Tsunade walked in; she smiled softly as she looked at me up and down. "My, how great you look, you are simply glowing! I think Konoha is doing wonders on you!"

_If only she knew…_

I just smiled and looked down; she was truly the only one who could see behind my mask. She was the only one who truly knew what I was going through and act like she didn't see it.

"Well then, I can see that you are finished. Why don't we get going, the school is waiting." She smiled; I always wondered how she could smile like that when she felt the same pain as me…

"Sure…" I mumbled, trying to hide the pain from her as I looked up at her again…

_I just knew how this day was going to end up…_

_**Disaster…**_

* * *

"Some along Sakura, I'll show you to the office and from there on I'll let Shizune, my new assistant, she will give you your locker number and your school schedule and take you to your first class." Tsunade said to me as we walked into the teachers lounge.

"Alright…" I mumbled, looking around. I have never been in the teachers lounge before, to think that I can be in here whenever I want to, made me happy. I wouldn't have to sit in the cafeteria, staring at all the faces that hurt me.

"Good, now where is she…?" Tsunade looked around, searching for her assistant.

I smiled sadly; the whole room was full of teacher. The sounds of talking was all over the room, it made me wonder how we couldn't hear them talking from miles away.

"Why Tsunade, is this your niece you've been talking about?" I looked up, damn this man was tall. His long white hair standing in every direction, I could swear his hair reached the floor.

I looked up at Tsunade. "Jiraiya, yes… this is she, Sakura this is Jiraiya. He's the health teacher…" _Oh great_, sex class.

"Nice to meet you…" I glanced up at him, either he was _way _too tall or I was _way _too small.

"Jiraiya could you please look after my niece while I go search for Shizune, I can't seem to find her" Tsunade mumbled, looking around the room.

I frowned; she couldn't trust _this _man, could she? I mean he looked like a _pervert!_

"Of course..! How can I disappoint an old friend?" He had laughter in his voice, so they knew each other for a long time…

"Watch it, I am not that old." Tsunade glared, pushing past him leaving me alone with him… we may not be alone in the room, but his gaze was sharp upon me.

"You look extremely familiar, have me met before?" He bucked down to look me in the eyes, slowly pointing a finger at my face. "I swear I know you…"

How did he know me? I've never even met him before, _well… _I think I've never met him. His eyes did seem familiar, but that was all.

I shook my head a little too fast, not wanting him so be any closer. I hate it when someone is close to me.

"No, as far as I know, I have never met you…" I know it was a little harsh, but he was way too close for me to say it in a nice way.

He finally backed away, a smirk on his features. "You sure are Tsunade's niece." He grumbled.

I frowned, _sure I was her niece… _but I wasn't anything like her, she always smiled, she was always happy… but I knew inside she was sad, that's why she drank a lot of alcohol.

My fifteen year old flashed in-front of my eyes. Her long pain hair, green eyes that shone with happiness as she sat with her boyfriend. A graces smile on her face, she seemed so _happy… _

That girl seemed like Tsunade, and I wasn't that girl anymore…

"Believe me kid, she just puts on a mask to be strong for _you… _She knows how you feel and she still feels the same as then." His voice turned serious, but flashed me a smile and walked away.

I stood there shocked… Tsunade wasn't hiding anything from me, _was she? _She wouldn't, she knew how I felt betrayed by everyone, so she would always be open to me. Tell me everything she did or knew.

"Sakura…!" I looked up, frowned. Tsunade came walking towards me, a small petite women standing behind her. Her black hair was short and she had the most shocking brown eyes I'd ever seen.

"This is my assistant, Shizune. Sorry we took so long; she was busy preparing your schedule." She smiled down on me, _a fake one…_

I glanced at Shizune, her face was graceful. There wasn't a flaw on her face, she looked _perfect _and happy. "Hallo Sakura, nice to meet you. I am sorry I took a while, I just wanted everything to be perfect for Tsunade's niece." Even her voice was graceful.

I smiled sadly, knowing that I would never be like her. _I would never be as perfect. _"It's alright…"

She smiled as the bell suddenly rang. She grabbed onto my hand, making me groan in pain. The freshly cuts burned as she pressed hard onto them.

I could feel my face twist in pain. "I am sorry, did I press too hard?" A frowned was placed on her perfect features, her voice full of concern…

_It was all just pity…_

I looked up at Tsunade, she knew I cut myself. In the beginning she had a big problem with me causing myself harm. It was the first time she yelled at me and let her mask slip, showing me all her pain she was hiding.

I quickly pulled my arm away, a smile on my face. _A fake one… _"No I am fine, don't worry." I didn't want her to know, I didn't want anyone to know…

The room was empty, the three of us all alone. "Well then Shizune, I'll let you two to be. Have a nice day Sakura and Shizune, I'll see you later."

I nodded, smiling again… How I hated to smile, it made the pain only worse; it made the pain grow further.

Shizune only smiled at Tsunade and bowed. Tsunade left the room in utter silence, she was always so graceful, and my aunt always looked so perfect… Just like Shuzine.

Shizune smiled at me and pushed a little piece of paper in my hands. "That is your schedule, now your first class in English by Hatake Kakashi."

I nodded, Hatake Kakashi… Wasn't he my homeroom teacher when I was fifteen? I could remember. She grabbed my wrist, this time being careful not to press to hard and pulled me out of the room and into the hallway.

* * *

I frowned; Shizune was busy talking in the class room full of people with Kakashi-sensei. She told me to wait outside, making sure that no one could see me.

_Sigh…_

Today was going to be so hard… I glanced around the hallway and that's when I spotted it. _That _locker, _my old locker… _

I could see Sasuke leaning against it, waiting for me to show up so that he could leave me… _Just like everyone else…_

How he was standing in-front of me, _how _he hit me, screaming at me how he hates me and wished that I die.

I frowned, trying not to cry. It was all so hard, the memories flashing back. _I needed to cut, _to make this pain go away, to _just _feel alive…

Today was going to be harder than I thought…

* * *

I stood in-front of the whole class. Kakashi-sensei smiling, well at least I though he was smiling. No one could see his face, he always wore a mask. "Well class, this is Haruno Sakura. Sakura, why don't you tell the class about yourself…?"

_Oh, how I am going to hate this teacher…_

I glanced around the room, trying to find any person I knew. Luckily no one I knew was there, _at least one class I don't have to worry about…_

"Uhm, I am Haruno Sakura. Mostly that's all I can say, there isn't anything special about me." I mumbled, I knew everyone could hear me but I didn't care…

I looked up at Kakashi-sensei, his eyes were sad. _Great more pity…_

I could see how he knew everything about me, he knew what happened that day but he didn't _know _everything. All he would know it about my parents and nothing more.

"Alright then, Sakura why don't you go sit next to Chouji?" Kakashi mentioned, pointing towards a fat guy who was busy munching on chips…

_Great… just great… So much for sitting alone…_

* * *

The bell finally rang, telling us to go to our next class. I was silently thanking God that Chouji didn't bother me; he didn't even look at me.

He wasn't bad-looking, no, he just looked like… _well _he looked like a guy who would hurt anyone that he came across.

When I walked out of the class, Shizune welcomed me again. Her face was glowing as she smiled at me. "So how was your first class?" She asked.

"Alright I guess…"

"Well okay, your next class would be better…" She smiled, grabbing my wrist again. "You have Biology next by Orochimaru." And she pulled me along the hallway, taking me towards the second floor.

* * *

I sighed; this _teacher _was _way _too creepy to even be a teacher! Just by looking at him made the think of the word _'pedophile'._

How could I have biology by… _by this guy?_

I didn't bother to look at the kids again; I was too busy staring at Shizune and my Biology teacher. She let me follow her into the class this time.

I saw Orochimaru smirked at me, his eyes holding onto a _secret promise… _I looked at Shizune again as she smiled at me, she walked past me and mumbled. _"Look after yourself in this class…" _and she disappeared.

I glanced back at the teacher; he was right in-front of me. His long black hair hanging loosely as his snake like eyes stared at me with a smirk. "Well class this is Haruno Sakura, she's new here so treat her with the utter most respect. We don't want to hurt such a delicate flower." His voice was so… _slick._

I frowned; _it would not matter if someone hurt me… I am already broken. _This teacher was scaring me…

He suddenly turned around, walking towards his desk. He glanced up at the class and smirked. "Sakura… it fits you… well then, go sit next to Uchiha…"

_What!_

He couldn't be in this class! _I couldn't be sitting next to him! _I just couldn't, I glanced at the class and frowned, his cold eyes were right on me. Staring into my soul, like he always could.

He looked even more handsome then when we were fifteen. His hair was a little longer, but still spiky. His black eyes still the same, and if his face could get any handsomer I know for sure that it was…

I wanted to go and crawl into a hole and cry myself to death. Never to be seen again, _I mean _no one would care would they?

I saw him smirk, _how dare he! _

I felt the pain in my soul come back, the black hole eating more pieces of what was left. There was barely anything left anymore, _one day I was going to break._

I stared back at the teacher; he was looking at me with a frown. "Well Sakura, aren't you going to go sit?" His voice was smooth, a _little too _smooth.

"No… I want another place to sit." I hissed, I didn't care if he was a teacher and could give me detention, I wasn't going to sit next to the guy who broke my heart into a little pieces…

_It didn't matter how much I still love him… _I would breakdown if I sat next to him and that wasn't something I was about to do.

I didn't have a breakdown since _that _day and I wasn't about to have one again…

His eyes widen a little, as he scowled. "Haruno-san…" He growled. "I said go sit next to Uchiha!"

I could feel everyone's eyes one me now, _great more attention… _Something I wanted, _not. _I glared at the teacher, I wasn't about to break.

And truly I didn't care what happened; he could send me to the principles office. Tsunade wouldn't hurt me, no matter what.

Times like theses I was thankful for having Gaara as a friend. He taught me to talk back to anyone… but no matter if he didn't teach me that, I would still not sit next to _him…_

It would be _too _much for me to handle.

The teacher suddenly smirked, his eyes on me as he leaned against his desk, arms crossed. "Well then Sakura…" He rolled my name of his tongue, making me shiver. "If you don't want to sit next to Uchiha, then you'll have to sit at my desk."

I didn't say a thing… I _didn't _want to say a thing, so I only nodded. At least it was better than sitting next to _him _or getting a detention.

I made my way towards his desk, _I knew _he wouldn't try anything with me; I did live with the principle… I was her niece.

I scowled as he smiled sickly at me; I sat down at his desk. He walked away for me and towards the class. He stared at everyone.

"Stop staring at her, she has a choice where she wants to sit and you don't. Now open your textbooks at page 150." He glanced at me, his eyes showing some kind of emotion…

* * *

The bell suddenly rung, making me jump up. I was about to stand up when I heard the teacher call my name. "Sakura please stay behind."

I looked up and saw the class was empty. How did the kids get out of the class so fast?

I sat back against the chair, frowning as the teacher sat on his desk. His eyes were following my every move. "Sakura… don't ever do that again. Not in my class."

I frowned, what was his problem? "Next period you will be sitting next to Uchiha, do you heard me!" He hissed, grabbing onto my wrist, making me groan.

He pressed hard onto my wrist, seeing that he caused me pain. "Good, that should teach you for now. Next period you are sitting next to Uchiha, you understand."

I stared up at him, tears threatening to fall; I only nodded, not trusting my voice. _I knew this day wasn't going to be good…_

He let go of my wrist and smirked, moving away from his desk. "Good…" He left the room, leaving me there alone…

* * *

_Gym… _

I hated it, thank god that I was new and didn't bring clothes… This time Shizune wasn't there to greet me after class and I was thankful because I only ran towards the bathroom… and cried my eyes out as I got my razor. I needed this, _I deserved this… _because I deserved to die, _I should've _died, _not them._

So, I was a little late for gym, but I don't think the teacher would mind. I but then again, this wasn't the first time I was here…

I knew my way perfectly around the school, no one needed to show me around. I knew where to go and I was thankful that no one noticed me walking in the hallway…

I sighed as I stood in-front of the gym doors. _How I hate this… _my fifteen year old self flashed before my eyes again…

A smile on her face as she enjoyed herself in gym, playing around with Sasuke… _I didn't need this… _I swear I was going to run out of this school and never come back…

I quickly pushed the doors open, taking in the view of girls in short pants and boys without their shirts playing basketball. The smell of sweat filled the hair. _Oh, the sweet stench of sweat…_

I wanted to choke; this wasn't what I wanted… I didn't want to be here, I didn't _need _to be here. To hell with my future, I am sure _feeling _this and seeing all the memories wouldn't get me one…

I glanced around there wasn't a teacher here. Nothing besides everyone having fun… _how can someone have fun by throwing a ball…?_

I looked at all the students, nobody I knew… _thank you…_

At least two classes without looking into someone's face that hurt me… but I still had biology and I had to _sit _next to Sasuke, _or else…_

* * *

_Lunch…_

I walked towards those big doors that would lead me into the same place where everything started, the same _place _where I would sit with everyone glaring at me.

I quickly pushed them open, looks like the burned smell of food was still there. I glanced around the room, searching for the same people that hurt me two years ago…

I saw them… they weren't looking at me. They sat in the middle of the room, still on the same place as always. Naruto, Hinata, Neji, Tenten, Shikamaru and Ino but where was Sasuke?

Naruto was laughing at something and put his arms around a blushing Hinata… Looks like he finally saw that she liked him, Ino was holding onto Shikamaru, they were together obviously.

Neji was caressing Tenten's hand, well, looks like he did like her after all…

They seemed so happy, nothing distracting them from their little world of _friendship…_

I think I need to get away from here. Maybe the teacher lounge would work, but Orochimaru would be there.

I guess I didn't have a choice…

_Sigh…_

I looked up again; staring at _them… _but the only thing that I saw was piercing blue eyes staring back at me with a frown… _Naruto…_

I guess everyone caught his gaze because they all turned around to stare at me… _everyone frowned… _I knew the bathroom would've been a better place.

I was about to turn around and head towards the bathroom when I heard a familiar soft voice. "Sakura…" I looked up and saw Suigetsu smiling at me.

He made his way towards me and stood in-front of me, blocking _their _gazes from me. "I was wondering when you were coming. I even thought that you were lying to me!"

I smiled at him; he didn't deserve to be around me… _He was too sweet… and it made me jealous… _"Uhm, no… I was only a little busy with unpacking." So I lied, no big…

He smirked at me, grabbing my wrist, making me groan out loud. _Please tell me he didn't hear that… _but as luck would have it, he looked down at me and frowned, letting my wrist go.

I frowned, I was sure he knew something was up… "Alright, I won't tell anyone." _He would be a good friend but nothing more…_

He grabbed my wrist again, only a lot softer, being careful not to hurt me and pulled me towards a table…

I glanced around as I saw him sit. There was a red haired girl with glasses and a tall guy that looked twenty… _this was his friends?_

"Karin Juugo, this is Sakura. Sakura the ugly red-haired girl is Karin." He pointed towards the girl, who frowned and glared at him. "And this is my good friend Juugo, he may look scary but he is sweeter than honey…"

I only smiled, not bothering to look at anyone. "Hallo…" I whispered. I looked at the red-haired girl who smiled at me and Juugo who also smiled.

"Hallo Sakura-san." Juugo said his voice soft but yet rough.

"Hallo Sakura, finally another girl!" Karin sounded excited; maybe I and she could be friends. I could clearly see that she wasn't a _brat._

Suigetsu smirked and pushed me onto a seat, making me sit next to Karin. Her red eyes staring into my green one, she did seem nice…

_Maybe they could full the black hole?_

No… nothing could make it go away… _That was something I knew…_

"Hey Juugo, where is our 'leader'?" Suigetsu's voice was sarcastic.

I glanced up at Karin and frowned; I leaned closer towards her and asked. "Who is he talking about?"

She only smirked, "Oh, you'll see soon enough."

I frowned… why wouldn't she tell me? I get it, they didn't know that this was the second time that I was in Konoha private and I also knew that while I was away, they came into the school.

_Maybe- just maybe _I could feel alive again; _they did seem like a nice people… _People that cared or they just pitied…

I didn't know which one, but _for now _it didn't matter… I just wanted to feel alive again…

"Sakura…?" Well there went my plans of feeling again… _his soft voice… _the pain came back again, it was the first time I heard his voice in _two years _and it was still so soft as silk, and yet so husky…

And it still made my heartbeat go faster… _I just knew that it would be too good to be true… _I knew that I couldn't stay in Suigetsu's group…

* * *

**...-.-…**

**A/N) **I am so sorry for the _very _late update! I was very busy! Truth be told, I don't really like the out come of this and I chanced the name…

This is still a _SasuSaku_ with some _SuiKarin…_ Suigetsu only likes her for a little while… it's nothing more than a simple crush.

Sorry for the lame and long chapter…

**Reviewer's corner:**

.kisses, ANBU Inu, colourfulgurl, nicole1422, angeli-chan, Broken Alice, ayasha21, Black-Blue Moonlight Neko, Crescent-Vampiress, chibi-fyed, Gothic Saku-chan, all hearts are dark and cold, mysteriousgirl8395

Thanks for your reviews! And sorry for making you wait!

_**Please review!**_

~Dragenruler


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